Reflection

     I have been reflecting a lot about my life and my illness and my family over the past several days. I have lost a lot of friends and family over the last fifteen years. I had a lot of what i call fair weather friends. As long as things were going well they were along for the ride. Bit as soon as things gig bad, they disappeared. My feelings have been crushed repeatedly.

      My mother is the worst culprit. Example, i had two spinal taps three weeks ago along with a battery of other testing. She never pucked up the phone or texted me to find out if i was ok and how i was feeling. Then yesterday she calls wanting to know when i ho back to get all the test results andsays she will meet me there. I just flat out asked why. I do not understand this and I never will. Iif she cant be a mother any other time I do not want her showing up for the doctor visits she picks and chooses!!! 

     I hate this disease and what it has done to my life. I am sorry I do not have an i spirational post tonight, but this is real life and how i feel. Maybe tomorrow I will feel like kicking Lupus's ass!! Who knows? Til Then.....

How do you decide what is right??

     I am a photographer. When I couldn't work in the healthcare field anymore I had to reinvent myself. I needed something to feel like a productive human being. I have been very careful up to this point to keep my Lipus quiet, to protect my business I am trying to get off the ground. My thoughts were that if people saw me as a sickly person they wouldn't hire me, wouldn't trust me to do their portraits. This week a lady in my state was wrongfully accused of being drunk at a medical office before she was ever seen by a doctor. The receptionist took it upon herself to call the police and turn her in and request assistance without even talking to the lady first. She was given a sobriety test, which she passed and was humiliated in the process. I spoke my mind on facebook which sparked an argument with someone who is not really even a friend, nor does she know what it is like to deal with a debilitating disease like this. Now I wonder, will this affect my business? Do i keep my mouth shut for sake of dignity and professionalism or do I stand up for what is right and deal with the consequences? I am so tired of being the quiet one and trying to keep peace all the time. I am tired of not speaking my mind and standing up for what I believe in. So what do I do? And at what cost? Til next time.....

This too shall pass.....

     I have been fighting an upper respiratory infection since right before Christmas. I am almost done with antibiotic number 4. I am taking large amounts of prednisone but to no avail. It is not wanting to let go. I started coughing up a little blood this morning so I go back to the doctor tomorrow at 11.  This disease is mean, it is cruel, and it never seems to let up or give breaks. I would give anything for just one more remission. I hope many of you checked out my story at the Lean on Us site. If you havent done so, here is the link again. http://ow.ly/IPJ0O  Til next time.......

Its Another Lupus Kind of Day

     I have had such great feedback from the Lean On Us story that I decided to create a blog. My name is PeggyAbner. I am a photographer, a wife and a mother of two teenage boys. I was diagnosed with Lupus in 2001. In the summer of 2000 they started aggressively running tests on me to find out what was wrong. It took almost a year to get the right diagnosis. It was no ones fault. This disease is extremely hard to diagnose and treat. After all these years I have decided to try to make it count for something. By helping others. So I am here, to listen to answer questions, advise. No one should feel alone in this journey, which is how i have felt for the majority of mine. I do not want someone else to feel this way. So here is my story. Click on the link and you can read it. http://ow.ly/IPJ0O hope it inspires someone. Til next time.....