Reflection

     I have been reflecting a lot about my life and my illness and my family over the past several days. I have lost a lot of friends and family over the last fifteen years. I had a lot of what i call fair weather friends. As long as things were going well they were along for the ride. Bit as soon as things gig bad, they disappeared. My feelings have been crushed repeatedly.

      My mother is the worst culprit. Example, i had two spinal taps three weeks ago along with a battery of other testing. She never pucked up the phone or texted me to find out if i was ok and how i was feeling. Then yesterday she calls wanting to know when i ho back to get all the test results andsays she will meet me there. I just flat out asked why. I do not understand this and I never will. Iif she cant be a mother any other time I do not want her showing up for the doctor visits she picks and chooses!!! 

     I hate this disease and what it has done to my life. I am sorry I do not have an i spirational post tonight, but this is real life and how i feel. Maybe tomorrow I will feel like kicking Lupus's ass!! Who knows? Til Then.....